Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
