I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
