that's an acceptable place to lick
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
