thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
