grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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