remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is my gift to your gina
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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