Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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