it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
