Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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