dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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