i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
