I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
