Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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