Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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