I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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