babies were throwing up all over the place
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
