The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
