Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
