yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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