I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
