I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
