What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
