I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
