I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
