just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
