Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
