i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
