nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
