She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
