You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
