Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
