she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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