so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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