I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
