Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
