this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
