if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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