I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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