soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
