I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
