Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
