What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
