Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
