we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
