honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
