you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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