I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
