Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
