In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
