Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
