Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have aggressive nipples.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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