I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Randomize
